Sunday, February 17, 2013

Start Seeing Motorcycles!!!


In the last week 3 good friends have been hit while riding their motorcycles and one didn't make it. I'm not saying this for sympathy, I just want people to watch where they are driving. People that say "Motorcycles are dangerous" are probably the same idiotic democrats that say other inanimate objects are dangerous like guns. Motorcycles aren't dangerous! Not watching for bikes, driving/riding distracted, no signaling, accelerating when you see a bike in front of you, getting too close to bikes when stopped at a red light or stop sign...all these things are dangerous. What people in their 4 wheeled cages don't realize is that THEY are the ones putting us in danger!

"People always tell me how dangerous it is to ride a motorcycle. All the time I hear it. I am sure you guys get it too... My family, friends, co-workers, random ass people at the gas station, people I have never met... It gets old after a while. The crazy thing is, I can always tell if that person is a rider or not. See my family will say "Be careful, people don't watch for you", or "watch out for the dust in the corners today, the wind is picking up".... Friends from my ride group, you guys, say shit like "Ride Safe Brother", "Hey watch for this or that @ this crossroad or that highway ramp"...again, all Riders.

But I find it's people who say such general shit like "Be careful, that thing is dangerous", or the classic "You can get killed on that thing"... focusing on the subject of my Motorcycle, somehow implying that it's inherently dangerous, like my bike is plotting against me or something.

Sometimes I want to respond with the most off the wall bat shit crazy babble like "1st of all, it's a HER, not a thing! She has a name... should I call your child a "thing"? Maybe kick your dog "FLY THING, FLY". "Should I refer to you as a "thing"? "Hey THING I want a #2 with no pickles" "Hey THING, filler up on pump 6"... maybe just go off on a 30 minute rant about the physics involved in piloting a street legal Japanese race bike... or just start spouting the stats regarding automobile involved motorcycle accidents vs. solo-motorcycle accidents... just completely swamp them with the "Holy Shit" experience. Force em to call security on me kind of situation lol.

But yeah, you can just tell that a person has never ever ever ever been on a bike. They try to explain to you that you can die riding a motorcycle, yet they can't even operate it, let alone ever actually piloted one at high speeds, or navigated through traffic at 9AM on I-10, or dodge drunks at 2AM, or had to avoid some bitch in a minivan who's talking on a phone and putting on eye liner while cutting across 3 lanes during peak traffic on the freeway with her mutant offspring in the back seat screaming and fighting and watching cartoons on the dvd system, only to kick up a 3 foot piece of semi truck tire that just barely misses taking off your head...

Seriously though, I know I can die on my bike, it's kinda demoralizing to be reminded of it more than we already are every time we ride. My bike doesn't want to hear it, I don't want to hear it... and yet we still hear it from people everywhere all the fucking time. Makes me wonder if maybe in my past life I stabbed a unicorn or burned down the Keebler elves' tree or something... this is my punishment, surrounded by a world of mouth breathers who will take the time to tell me how dangerous riding is, yet won't take the time to look twice.

See because I ride, apparently by default I have a death wish and require constant reminding of my own mortality, the second I put on a helmet I become the fucking Iron Man unless everyone continues to explain to me I can still die... but yet these same people will pile into a 3000 pound bullet, slap a strip of nylon cord over there chest, and send it flying down the streets in a manner consistent with herding livestock, because that is somehow safe? "yeah but my Jetta has airbags, and a seat belt"...

Did you know Air Bags have a warning label that states clear as day in fucking BIG red letter "Stay back 6ft when deploying"... c'mon you gotta be shitting me!! 6ft away is driving from the trunk. That bitch is going off a foot from your head with the expressed and designed intention of face palming you at warp 5... and I am the one who is in danger?!?! I have seen an airbag send a guy half way through a sheet rock roof... they can fling an old tire 30ft in the air... you want one of those going off in your face?" - friend JJ Stuart

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